How to survive the death of her husband?
“Everything will pass, humble yourself ... Time is the best doctor ... You will still be happy, because life goes on ...” - these are the words of friends who are heard, but not perceived by a woman who has lost her husband. And how can you reconcile with what happened, if you close your eyes and see crosses, the smell of fir wreaths no longer resembles the New Year, and hammer blows on the coffin lid, beating with electricity all over the body, paralyzing the will and desires. At these moments it is not at all clear how to survive the death of a husband and live on.
To understand and to forgive
It does not matter how old a woman is when she loses her husband - 20, 25, 40 or 80. It is always a loss: if you only realized what happiness is, later it is already a physical and chemical dependence on a man who is near every day. The main thing is to understand that there are events over which we have no power. Birth and death are two sides of life that begin and end at the behest of higher powers. Awareness of the inevitability, “no going back” is the first step towards the realization of a new self.
Forgive - the most difficult. It is difficult to let go of resentment and hatred if death was unnatural.How to survive the death of her husband, if the reasons were suicide, murder, drug overdose? Unfortunately, in our time, these reasons are not uncommon. Forgive your loved one, understand that we all make mistakes and, moreover, have the right to make mistakes, but only the price for an informed choice is too high. Do not judge, do not get angry - you will not correct anything, only you will ignite in your soul meaningless hatred, which will be based on an offended self-esteem. If it is difficult to understand and forgive yourself, go to a psychologist, to a psychotherapist, to a confessor to confession. Unbiased professional assistance of a stranger helps after a couple of visits. Keep in your heart everything that was bright and pure in your relationship.
If the cause of death is a long-term and incurable disease, a woman is always ready for the care of a loved one. Such a loss often leaves good memories. Never blame for the death of your beloved doctors or the “Ambulance” that did not arrive on time - all the causes of “non-help” do not depend on the human factor, much has been decided for us long ago.
Peel off the paper
The flow of thoughts about forgiveness, understanding should find a way out.Talk to your children if you think that children are old enough to understand you. By this you will not only relieve your condition, but also learn about the thoughts of children - it can be much harder for them.
How to survive the death of her beloved husband? The diary will help you: pour out your soul, write everything that comes to mind from feelings of rage to the best memories. Very often, women begin to write amazing poems or stories and find themselves in the works. The flow of thoughts will lead you in the right direction, and you look at death from the other side: perhaps it has become a liberation for a spouse or a liberation for you. Yes, yes, and it happens.
Not a diary, so the letters in which you will throw out everything: that it is notorious, that you are grateful, that you are offended. Collect the letters in a box and take them to your husband in the cemetery: leave them there or burn them, most importantly, do not keep them at home.
Photo for memory
Remove photos of a happy past from prominent places. Survive the problem, forgive yourself, husband, circumstances - and set the photo again. Only then will they bring joy.
Find a lesson to your liking that will bring true peace of mind - charity, help to those who have experienced this. Pay attention to friends: often we do not notice how much they need our help.
The trainings of personal growth help superbly, new friends, acquaintances - among them you can find people with a more complicated fate, because the exchange of emotions heals any wounds. Your experience, knowledge and support will help others find strength in themselves.
Life for life
Life goes on ... New, difficult, but it goes forward, dragging you into the maelstrom of events. Live ... Live only for the sake of living a life for two - a bright, rich, beating with a key, one that you would live together.
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