Signs your boss secretly has a crush on you
5 Signs Your Boss Is Secretly Hitting on You
You want your boss to like you, but notlikeyou. After finding out that many of David Letterman's conquests were his young female staffers, we started to wonder how many men are using their power at the office to get laid. Dr. Belisa Vranich, author ofDating the Older Man,clued us in on how to tell when the bossman cares more about seeing you topless than watching you rise to the top of your field. If he makes a few of these seemingly harmless moves, there's a good chance your boss wants to get it on.
1. He tells you about his life outside of work and constantly asks about yours.
These days we're all working crazy hours to pay the bills, and it's normal for your personal and office lives to overlap a bit. In most workplaces, it's pretty standard to go out and grab a drink or two after work and to dish about your weekend escapades with your co-workers on Monday morning. But when your boss starts to pry about who you're sleeping with or mentions that he's tired of going home to an empty bed (or the one with his wife in it), he's crossed the line.
Here's how to deal: You don't have to answer any questions that give you the "uh-oh" feeling. Instead, wince and say, "Oh, it's really complicated." When he's the one giving you way TMI, try to end the conversation as quickly as possible by acting bored (it probably won't be that hard) and saying that you need to make a dent in your to-do list.
2. He constantly calls you on your cell.
Sure, your boss needs to be able to get in touch with you when you're not at work, but if he's calling your cell late at night or on the weekend, he'd better have a damn good reason. Ask yourself if his calls and text messages are really pressing or if he is using his access to chat with you outside of work.
Here's how to deal: When your boss calls your personal number, treat it like you would any other work call. Instead of saying, "Hey, what's up," your voice should have the same all-business tone as if you're standing in the middle of a crowded office, even if you're really just watchingThe Hillsand giving yourself a mani.
3. He buys you a gift and tells you to keep it on the DL.
Does this scenario sound familiar? When the holidays arrive the boss sends around a silly video as a "gift" to the staff, but you find a little box on your desk. Then he sheepishly asks you not to tell the others, because he doesn't want them to get jealous. This is a classic move in the sleazy boss playbook that means he wants to start something with you.
Here's how to deal: As much as we'd love to tell you to take the cashmere scarf or 0 iTunes gift card and run, you really can't accept the gift without getting tangled in all of the strings that are attached. You have to tell Mr. Inappropriate straight up that "This is way too generous and I can't take it." If he's in a relationship you may want to add, "But I'm sure your girlfriend would love it," just to drive the point home that you're not interested in hooking up.
4. He constantly asks you (and only you) to work late.
Unless you are his personal assistant and this is truly part of your job description, then it's likely that he's inventing reasons to spend more time alone with you. There's a fine line between ordering takeout so the two of you can work on an actual task at night and being out on a first date. Suss out the situation by asking yourself if was really necessary for you log OT to finish up a project.
Here's how to deal: This is tricky, but if you are regularly staying late and your gut is telling you it has more to do with his crush than your workload, it's time to have a discussion with your boss. Ask him if you can recruit another coworker to work with you on a few projects (that way if you have to stay late, at least you're not stuck alone with the creep). If you're under the impression he's singling you out because you're available, it may be time to mention your new (fake) boyfriend. Men generally lay off when they know a women is taken, so you'll only have to bring up the fact that your new guy looks exactly like Penn Badgley a few times before he gets the point. Actually, considering that your boss has probably never heard ofGossip Girl,you'd better make that George Clooney.
5. He spends almost as much time leaning on your desk than working at his.
No matter how laid-back your office is, there's no reason for your boss to hover in your cubicle so he can shoot the shit with you every morning. Um, that's why he has an office. By making himself comfortable in your space, he's using his authority to get closer to you. It's kind of like when you touch a guy's arm or knee to show you're into him, only this time it's totally inappropriate.
Here's how to deal: You can try piling papers and coffee cups on your desk so there's nowhere to sit, but if he's touching you and making you feel uncomfortable, you should really head straight to HR. When it comes time to face him after filing a complaint, say, "I have respect for you as my boss, but this job is very important to me and I take my work seriously. To be honest, I'm afraid that your attentions will end up hurting my chances of success." He may be pissed, but, trust us, that'll be the end of it.
Video: 10 Secret Signs He's Flirting With You
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